Humbled

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I ran the Dallas Running Club Half Marathon and my race didn't go as well as I had expected it to. I finished the race with a respectable time (1:50:04, 8:23 pace), but this was slower than my last few half marathon attempts and nearly five minutes slower than my time at the Indy Mini in May. Yes it was windy and humid and warm, but I was disappointed in myself. One thing was my time. I don't like that that's the first focus after a race, but if you spend any time with dedicated racers you know that time is a very important element of feeling accomplished with your races.

But I know that there's more to having an important race than just time. It's key to run a smart race. Running smart means taking good care of your body beforehand (sleeping and fueling properly), training for the distance, and pacing appropriately (i.e., not going out too fast). Did I run smart yesterday? Yes and no. I think I did well on the sleeping and eating part. I slept well the few nights before and the evening before the race I ate my typical pre-race meal of steak, mashed potatoes, and creamed spinach. I drank only water and coffee, no alcohol, for 36 hours before the start. The morning of the event I had some Cheerios and toast and drank plenty of water.

With respect to training, I *think* I trained appropriately, but I do wonder if perhaps I have gotten a little sure of myself when it comes to running half marathons. I don't follow a formal training plan anymore because I feel confident that my weekly running is "good enough". I do what I think feels OK (long run once a week, one or two days of speedwork, other runs during the week for a goal of approximately 25 miles a week), but this is one area where I could probably be more diligent. I have been so pleased with my recovery from the plantar fasciitis issue from this summer, and I admit that I probably have gotten over-confident in my training.

I think the bigger issue was that I just wasn't in it mentally, which perhaps is related to the over confidence thing. I was ready to race and I wanted to be there at the start, but I started doubing myself and giving in to the struggle way too early, around mile 6. I don't know my per-mile times since I don't wear a watch, but I suspect that I went out too fast (a rookie mistake I should not be making at this point!) and then started to run out of gas. And when it was hard and I was struggling, I started to doubt that I would be successful. I considered taking walking breaks (I ended up only walking through through the water stations, but still the doubt was there), and I mentally felt that I just couldn't do it anymore. This is normal for me later in the run, and after mile 11 or so I would expect this. But when these feelings came just shy of the halfway point yesterday I anticipated that I would be in trouble. And I had a miserable second half (physically and mentally) because of it.

So the conclusion is that I didn't run smart, which is what I want to work on for the future. In reality I know that my time was good and I should (and do) feel proud of the tremendous effort I exerted to finish yesterday. I was a tired, sweaty, sore mess afterwards. But for the first nine half marathons I completed I improved with each race. I PR'd and felt better after each and every race. And then I did the full, which I didn't run that smart but was just so darn proud to have finished that I didn't care too much. Then I ran Indy strong but a few minutes slower than my best time (I loved Indy and had the best time ever, just blamed my struggle on going to Italy the week before), and now I finished yesterday's race nearly four and half minutes slower than my previous effort.

Time to step up my game and respect the distance so that I can continue to feel proud of my races and about the strength that running brings to my body.