John says the craziest things!

Tuesday, May 31 (in the car on the way to school)


John: "Mom, how big are God's feet?"

Me: "I don't know John. How big do you think God is?"

John: "I know he is big all the way up to the clouds."

Me: "OK, so then he must have pretty big feet, huh?"

John: "Yes, I think they are big. Probably even bigger than dad's."

Monday, June 6 (while I was tucking him in before bed)

John: "Mom, I hope you never die."

Me: "John, everyone dies, but it is not nice to think about when a particular person is going to die. That is not a good thing to do. Why are you thinking about me dying?"

John: "I don't know. I know it will not be soon though. Can I have Lucky Charms for breakfast?"

Tuesday, June 28 (in the car on the way to school, with no obviously visible roof-workers in sight)

John: "Mom, what kind of shoes do you think men who work on roofs wear?"

Me: "I don't know, maybe sneakers or heavy boots. Work boots, maybe."

John: "I don't think so, I think they wear shoes wtih spikes on the bottom. They need the spikes so that they do not fall off the slanted roofs."

Me: "If their shoes had spikes, wouldn't that make holes in the roof?"

John: "No, because the roofs are very tough and the holes from the spiky shoes would not break through."

Me: "Oh, OK."

And the best (or the worst, depending on the way you look at it) was tonight. And the bedtime story had NOTHING to do with bodily functions.

Monday, July 18 (while I was tucking him in before bed).

John: "Mom, do you toot everyday? How many times? And do you do it each and every single day?"

Me: "John, that's not nice to talk about."

John: "Oh, no you don't. Because you are a girl. But for me, mom, I mean, how does my body do it? Toot, I mean. How does your body make that noise?"

Me: "John, it's not nice manners to talk about tooting. It's a natural thing our bodies do sometimes and I don't know how it works exactly."

John: " Mom, well, I really want to know how my body does it. Can we ask dad's computer?"